Updated: Aug 19, 2020
One of the strongest forces that subconsciously guides your decisions is the need to remain consistent with how you see yourself - your sense of identity. If you see yourself as a “stressed person”, an “addictive personality”, a “binge eater”, or a “self-saboteur”, then you’ll keep doing those things because that’s who you really believe you are at your core. It’s no longer a behaviour, it’s now your identity. What about food and your body? Do you see your weight in a very objective way? Or even in a temporary way like being injured or having the flu? Or do you allow it to define who you are as a person? If you allow food and weight to define your identity and your sense of self, then you will automatically make choices that are aligned with that identity. This is because your brain tunes itself to respond to the environment, your actions and your attitude towards life. Therefore, whatever attitude you chose, whether that is fuelled by your struggles or the way you see yourself, this will cause your brain to create the model of the world that supports your self-narrative. Whoever you believe yourself to be will be validated by the brain over time, regardless of whether this is a positive or negative belief.
The thing is everything is a delayed representation of your identity. This is because your identity is what is at the core, It the the foundation layer which drives everything that you do in life. Your beliefs, your values, your emotions, your capabilities, your thoughts and your actions. In a way it is a representation of who you used to be and not necessary who you are today.
The truth is your identity is always evolving and… is a CHOICE! This means that your identity can change in a heartbeat!
Ever heard of people giving up smoking just by deciding? They didn’t need e-cigarettes, patches, gum, hypnosis, or books. They had a significant emotional event - which can be different from person to person. The event itself isn’t what matters. What matters is that in that moment they made a decision. The difference is that when someone makes that decision to no longer identify as a smoker, the result they are looking for is IMMEDIATE. However, when it comes to food and your body, it takes time to feel, see and experience the result you are after. For example, to feel fitter and more energised, to feel comfortable in your own skin, to see food in a healthy way, to lose excess weight from binge eating. These results take longer than, for example quitting smoking. Your brain needs the time to validate your new identity over time by building evidence from your environment. But with time, consistency and commitment to your new identity you WILL see the changes you are looking for.
2 steps to rapid identity change
Building your new identity, one where you are no longer rule by food and weight is a 2 step process, which, when applied with intention and purpose can happen quickly. STEP 1.
The first step to have a significant emotional event. However you don’t have to wait for life to give you one, you can create this through either looking back or looking forward. You can either experience the deterioration in your health, happiness, and quality of life for real… or you can see it AND FEEL IT before it happens. STEP 2.
To see, feel and experience what it would be like to be your future self RIGHT NOW but build this future version of yourself.
What would be different in your life? Describe how you would like to be without your problem?
What would you be doing in your life that you don’t/can’t currently?
What would you like to do that you currently can’t?
How would you be feeling or thinking?
What strengths or resources do you have that will help you let go of this old identity? What would you like to have?
What would you believe about yourself that you don’t completely believe now?
What would become really important to you?
Who would you believe yourself to be? Begin this with I or I am.
Remember your brain just needs the time to validate this new identity and build some evidence of this new you. Everything is a delayed representation of your identity.
So that’s who you are now…. That’s how you think, feel, and act in every way…. That’s how you organise your life.... All your decisions, choices, and reactions in life are driven by that identity.
I often talk about the unleashed woman. That’s a woman who takes bold decisive action and makes shit happen in her life. This is absolutely an identity you can choose right now. You don’t have to wait to become that person, you can become her now! IT IS A CHOICE! Make no mistake, this cannot be a half assed choice! You can’t decide to grow into your higher self “provided it’s convenient, comfortable, and easy!” The smoker who makes the immediate identity change still has to go through the withdrawal symptoms. That’s uncomfortable. But the identity change means they are the TYPE OF PERSON WHO is willing to do the uncomfortable things to have the life they want.
All your decisions, choices and behaviours in life are driven by that identity. Be that person you want and see what changes!
If this has stirred something up inside you, then let me show you another way, a new approach and a strategy which will help you jumpstart your journey and make real progress towards resolving these struggles once and for all!